Family Constellations
I absolutely love Constellations! They have changed my life and the lives of my immediate family, as well as so many people I know.
Upcoming Online Family Constellation Circles:
All Circles are Listed in Seattle Time
Saturday, December 14 at 1pm PT
Saturday, January 11 at 1pm PT
Saturday, February 1 at 1pm PT
Saturday, March 1 at 1pm PT
Saturday, April 5 at 1pm PT
Saturday, May 3 at 1pm PT
What is Family Constellations?
Systemic Constellation work is a powerful experiential process developed by Bert Hellinger, a German Psychotherapist. This constellation process can be done for any system and I work primarily with the family system, hence the name Family Constellations.
In western society, we like to think we are fully independent and self-directed, but actually many of our personal patterns originated in our family of origin and our ancestral lineage. Bert Hellinger developed the constellation process to help resolve these unconscious entanglements with our ancestors. Through this process, we can restore harmony in our family system and establish a positive supportive connection with our ancestors, ideally where Love flows down the generations through open hearts. Unhelpful patterns and dynamics can be returned to the earlier generations where they belong, freeing us to live our own authentic lives while drawing on the support of our ancestors.
It may take time for the changes from the constellation to integrate within us, and as they do, the changes ripple out and are reflected in our environment. Even though our family or community aren’t aware of what happened during the constellation process, they often mirror these changes in a profound way over time.
“I've been so impressed with Medoc's transformative abilities that I've been recommending her to all my friends and clients. They all come back to me raving about what a difference it's made for them.” ~ Dr. Lara Thompson, ND
Working in a group circle
During a circle, we have the opportunity to experience constellations for multiple people. During a one-day circle, we usually do 4 personal constellations with the possibility of doing one more if the others move more swiftly. These personal constellations are usually booked ahead of time.
When registering for a circle, you can choose to "attend and represent" which means you take part and can potentially represent family members or concepts in the constellations. Or you can sign up to "attend and set a constellation" which means you both represent in other's constellations and you get to set your own constellation during the day. There are limited spaces to set a constellation during each circle, so if no spaces are available for the date you've chosen, then all the constellations have been reserved already.
Each person who is setting a constellation (the working participant) shares their intention with the group. Based on the intention, we set up the constellation by inviting other people from the group to represent the working participant and their family members. Depending on the patterns revealed between the representatives, the facilitator will work to resolve the dynamics with various movements, arrangements and spoken words. During this process, the working participant has a unique opportunity to witness the dynamics from the sidelines, which potentially gives them insights and a new perspective. Finally, at the end of the process, the working participant is invited to enter the constellation and has the opportunity to complete the work for themselves. The changes that occurred during the constellation are often experienced somatically as a change in the felt sense in their body.
A constellation is a powerful experience for everyone taking part in the circle, no matter what role they take. Because we are working with universal themes, they resonate with everyone in the room and we all leave changed at the end of the day. Constellations work on the level of our hearts, so our mind doesn't have to problem solve or work it out, we just need to notice what we feel. To experience the many facets of the human experience and to feel the support and love of the ancestors in a constellation is such a gift.
I regularly facilitate group circles online and in person.
Working one-on-one,
in Person or online
Constellations can be done one-on-one in person using physical objects to represent the family members. Or they can be done online using a visual representation of the family members via an app or using physical objects on the video call.
When working one-on-one the facilitator maintains an awareness of all the family members and collaborates with you to resolve the interpersonal dynamics with various movements, arrangements and spoken words. Working one-on-one can be very powerful, but in a different way from group work. We can’t see the physical bodies interacting in space or step into the constellation with our body. Instead we work with the spatial relationships as witnessed between the objects, and the facilitator and client both ‘tune in’ to feel the emotions and dynamics at play. This work can be very powerful — online clients often feel the changes and emotions as a felt sense in their body as the constellation process unfolds.
Doing this work one-on-one can be easier to arrange and is helpful when a circle isn’t convenient or available in your area. One-on-one work is also helpful when the issue is very sensitive. Working online makes this work accessible from all over the world and from the comfort of your own home.
Host me in your town
There are many good Family Constellation facilitators available throughout the world, so you may want to see who is available in your area.
Should you not have access to a facilitator locally, I’m happy to travel to other areas to facilitate. If you would like to gather a group and host an in person circle in your area, please reach out to discuss possibilities.
“I am truly grateful for the opportunities that I have had to be on the receiving end of Medoc’s powerful healing practices. I have experienced lifelong patterns of struggle and pain transformed in an instant in my own life and in the lives of my family. Medoc is truly a gift to this healing world!” ~ Lara Anderson
Who & what can you set a constellation for?
Constellations can be done for yourself, or for your child if they are young enough.
Constellations can occasionally be done for other family members when they can’t come to do the work themselves, perhaps due to physical health conditions or behavioural patterns that would make attendance at a circle or one-on-one session difficult. This could include things such as active addictions or mental health conditions. As each situation is unique we would need to discuss the specifics before booking the constellation. It is best that the family member give their written permission for us to do the constellation on their behalf.
We can also do a constellation for a system or organisation, such as a business, a work team, a sports team or a community group. Ideally to work with a whole organisation or group you should be the owner or lead person, otherwise we can just set a constellation for your role within that organisation and the impact on you personally. Again, it may be best to discuss the specifics before booking a constellation.
Constellations can take anywhere from 60 mins to 2 hours depending on their own unique flavor and pace.
Working with an intention
The individual who sets the constellation (the working participant) will bring an intention about something they would like to work on. The best intentions are strongly heartfelt desires about something you would like to change in your life. Intentions can be about anything that causes you suffering or that you would like to improve. We can work on literally any possible situation or dynamic.
Some examples are physical conditions or illnesses, lack of abundance or career success, inability to get pregnant, miscarriages, persistent moods or thought patterns such as depression, sadness or victimhood, frequent accidents, relationship patterns, patterns of behavior such as addictions or nail biting, etc
“Just wanted to tell you that the Family Constellation you did on me worked wonders. I thought I was just doing it for the kids, but it seems I must have held some guilt there somewhere as now I feel like a new person.” ~ KD
Before a circle or one-on-one session
Please take good care of yourself beforehand so you can come ready to be attentive and fully participate in the constellation/s.
If you are setting your own constellation, please gently ponder your intention beforehand so it is clear in your mind and heart. The best intentions are deeply heartfelt desires for some kind of change in your life or relationships. It can be helpful to think about how you would like to feel if your intention comes about. If you have a particularly sensitive intention and don't want to talk about it in front of a group, we can chat in the days leading up to the circle or during a break. Just let me know.
If you are setting a constellation, it can be helpful to know of unusual circumstances in your family such as traumatic experiences, wars, early deaths, miscarriages or abortions, people who may have been pushed out of the family for some reason (eg. sent to an orphanage, asylum, disowned etc.). It can also be helpful to know from where your ancestors immigrated to the USA and in what generation. Sometimes this information can play a part in the constellation, but it's not a problem if you don't know much about your ancestors. We can discover everything we need to know in one way or another.
Even if you are not setting a personal constellation it can be helpful to think about your personal intention for the circle. As representatives and observers, we still get many opportunities to do our own work as the constellations are unfolding.
After a circle or one-on-one session
This work can take a lot of energy and attention and can take time to integrate afterward. It is best not to schedule something strenuous or demanding straight after a circle or constellation. Staying hydrated, taking an epsom salt bath, gentle exercise and resting can all be good ways to integrate the experience.
I recommend not speaking to others or journalling about the specific details of your own personal constellation for some time so that you can let the resulting change work in your heart instead of being intellectualised or turned into a story. Ideally, we allow the experience to live in us as a somatic felt experience which has the freedom to unfold naturally over time. When we tell the experience as a story, we have a tendency to collapse the experience into one linear storyline which can limit the depth of meaning and the effectiveness of the constellation. I invite you to trust that you will remember the important parts of the constellation and the felt sense of the outcome in your body and that the experience will continue working in your heart whether you remember all the details or not.
Doing art or some form of symbolic physical movement can be a way to help integrate the constellation that doesn't require words.
Confidentiality
Although this work doesn’t require a lot of story or private details, it is still very personal and sensitive. Because of this, we respect the privacy of everyone in the group. Details of other peoples’ constellations or personal information should not be shared with people outside of a circle. It is also best not to comment on someone else’s constellation unless they invite you to.